Sex Nudity and Flashing Lights

So here it is, the first page of an honest and open 40 Something Single Woman’s blog.

Question: Are there lots of 40 something single woman out there? Why? Who are you? and most importantly why are you 40 something and single? (seriously I like to know as I’m really interested).

I’m no expert (but I’m a fairly intelligent woman) who “thinks” for me its down to bad timing, self image and just got completely fed up with insecure, controlling men.

So here’s a brief (ish) run down. I’m the latter side of 40, good looking, good skin, great hair (when I can be bothered), trendy/smart dresser (when I can afford it), confident (mostly), good conversationalist (unless I meet a guy I’m interested in!) bubbly, social, happy and motivational friend (externally). I’ve been single now for around 7/8 years… I’ve been saying 7/8 years for a while now so it may actually be 8/9 years, and not had sex in 3/4 years… isn’t it sad that I’m not sure!

My last 2 … nope 3 relationships started well. They all loved the fact I was an strong (most of the time) independent woman but then their insecurities would pulled through and I would end up being in a relationship where I felt like I was walking on egg shells or having to stroke their egos to help them feel like a better man or having to justify why I was ten minutes late home from work or play down my friendships with male work colleagues or having to put up with a sulking brooding man because I had decided to have a night in on my own or a night out with the girls….. exhausting.

I should also point out that during these relationships I was a single mum, working part time for number 1 and 2 and full time with number 3 oh and studying (in all 3 relationships). Don’t get me wrong I’ve had some great relationships in the past. All have been fun at some point. I should also point out that before number 3 I found out I had cancer of the womb and had to have a hysterectomy. I was on week 6 of my recovery and off work recovering when I met number 3.

Around 5 months before my surgery (and finding out I had cancer) I had started a “friends with benefits” thing – It was my idea as I didn’t want to get into a relationship with this guy and knew he wasn’t the type to sleep around (too lazy). I only slept with him 3 times, each being rather boring to be honest and the last two times not orgasmic ….. yep I complained by hey ho. I then found out about the cancer and he disappeared. A week before my surgery the ex popped onto the scene. Cutting a long story short we had sex 48 hours before my surgery – I needed to feel like a woman one more time as had no idea what life would be like after the surgery as my womb and bowels where infected and there was a 50% chance I would be waking up with colostomy bag. Thanks to a great surgeon I didn’t have the bag when I woke up.

My son was 16/17 during this time and you need to understand we are CLOSE. I’ve been his Mum and Dad since he was 8mths old and the cancer and surgery hit him hard. When I woke up I decided to convert my energy to him, helping him to heal, getting him through collage then onto University. My recovery took longer than I thought and was off work for 9 months.

So cut to now… Son would be in his 3rd year at Uni but at the end of his 2nd year he decided to leave (hey its his life, his journey so I supported his decision). He’s still living in the same city as his Uni, sharing a house with 5 other boys and I travel to see him at the end of every month. He comes home during half terms/holidays etc

So the past two years have been mine – to be honest the first year was getting use to him not being there and trying out the “things I wanted to do to fill the massive gap” i.e tap dancing, Amateur dramatics etc.  The second year was …. well nothing really. Life has plodded on; I go to work, I finish work, I go teach fitness classes, I come home. I shower, eat dinner then eat chocolate. Weekends I either do gardening, see friends/family, have a night out with pals or stay in…… (like tonight …. a Saturday!).

The problem is since my surgery I put on 5 stone, I lost the first stone once I could exercise again. I lost the second cos I felt I had to (being that I need to get back into teaching fitness classes) so I’m now 3 stone over weight (my pals think its 2), 8/9 years older than my last proper date and feeling like I’ve definitely lost the rhythm of chatting up men, dating men and all that “stuff” plus is it my imagination or are there not that many good looking, interesting guys out there anymore? and it certainly feels like the age group I’m in are looking at dating 30 something year old women!

So this blog is for us single 40 something women – I’m going to write this blog to share with you my life, the men, my emotions, the humor (god lets hope there’s some of that!) the male friends (have quite a few of them), my gal pals dating experiences and maybe mine, nights out AND if it ever happens the sex. I’m going to be frank, honest and open with you. There will probably be some swearing, nudity and flashing lights (god lets hope so). So welcome x